“I need to slow down”….Uh, not really, you need to calm down

In Blackbelt in Business by Chris Berlow2 Comments

Society has become too fast paced, wouldn’t you agree? May people go around saying “I need to slow down.” Truth is, that is never going to happen. Do you think the responsibilities of life are going to lessen? I don’t think so. It’s funny because when my wife and I first had children, we were very young. I was 23 and she was 24. (Yes, I married an older woman). We had our first born when we were still kids ourselves. We did it right, we had a nice condo, I was teaching martial arts full time, she had a good job at a local college so things were working well; however, we were very busy.

Then came our second child; we bought a house, renovated the house, had another child, built an addition to the house, started my martial arts school, expanded the school, bought a piece of commercial property to build a school, built the school myself, adopted two more children, had to get a bigger house, just adopted three poodles because kids went off to college. I bet your getting tired just hearing about it, aren’t you?

My point is that is that there are stories like mine in almost everybody’s world. Life has an amazing way of throwing opportunities and challenges at us which keeps life extremely interesting. On top of all that, what about all the technology that has developed over the years to be able to manage everyone’s busy lives. It’s a fight for sure, but it really doesn’t have to be.

I heard a speaker a long time ago that put it perfectly. He said this following statement that put everything into perspective.

“Society is never going to slow down, but it will do very well by calming down.”

Think about it. Our lives are never going to get less crazy but if we approach things in a different manner, we will have the ability to not get overwhelmed. All we have to do is calm down. When you are calm, you are able to see things in a third person perspective rather than just being in the mix. You then control life and life doesn’t control you.

Have you ever had a challenge and reacted negatively where you responded in a way that you regretted later on? If so, it was most likely because you reacted without thinking. If you had responded calmly, you would have been able to analyze the situation for what it was and respond more appropriately. This applies for most people professionally and personally. Especially when it comes to parenting and boy, do I know this.

Why calm down? When we are stressed or have pressure, our body tightens up which causes physical and mental tension. That is why many Doctors say that stress is the number one killer causing so much sickness and disease. Well, tightening up causes a blockage in our own personal energy flow. Then the stress compounds upon itself because you can’t figure things out. When you are calm, you are able to allow the thought energy to flow easily and effortlessly giving you the opportunity to come up with ideas or solutions for whatever you are facing. It is amazing but true.

How do I know this is true? Well, do you shower? I hope so. Do you notice that when you shower you tend to come up with ideas. It is the nurturing feel of the warm water streaming down your body that has an incredible calming effect. This allows the thought energy to flow freely. A lot of people get ideas when they drive for the same reasons. They are doing an action without thought that allows the energy to flow easily and effortlessly. That is what we would consider “Active Meditation”.


Five ways to calm down:

Here are five action steps you could do to calm down

1. Walk in nature: As you know form my precious blog that I adore being in nature. The natural environment with all that nature has to offer is soothing for both your mind and soul. The more you could connect with nature, the calmer you could be. I highly recommend that you spend time at least once a day in nature. You will be happy you did.

2. Disconnect: I imagine that stress or pressure comes through some form of technology, correct? Smart phones and technology has become both a gift and a curse. It gives you the opportunity to accomplish a lot but also informs you what you need to get done. Disconnect for a while so you could recharge your own batteries.

3. Practice Meditation: I just spent the last four months writing a book on active meditation due to be release in January 2017. (Yes, that’s a plug) I interviewed many experts on how they use their profession, hobbies or interests as forms of meditation. Anything that engages your mind, body and spirit into a single activity is in my world, meditation. Ultimately, sitting meditation will do you very well but that could be difficult for some. Learn to calm down by doing something that you love and enjoy and do it often.

4. Deep Breathing: If you ask most people to take a deep breath, they will do so by filling air into their lungs. Deep abdominal breathing is using your diaphragm rather than your lungs to inhale and exhale. In a blog article by the American Institute of Stress (AIS) by Kellie Marksberry, AIS Executive Director she explains,

“Abdominal breathing for 20 to 30 minutes each day will reduce anxiety and reduce stress. Deep breathing increases the supply of oxygen to your brain and stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, which promotes a state of calmness. Breathing techniques help you feel connected to your body—it brings your awareness away from the worries in your head and quiets your mind.”

5. Exercise Daily: One of the best forms of stress release is by exercising daily. If you could find something that you could do to give you a good sweat and let your mind wander off, it will serve you well. Exercising allows your endorphins to flow and you begin to feel good, really good. I personally cannot function properly if I don’t train. The mind always works better after a good sweat!

Final thoughts: In the fast paced society that we live in we are never going to be able to slow down. It’s just not going to happen. Technology is progressing at the speed of light and it is always an uphill battle to keep up with it. Once you buy the latest of one thing, the next one is about to be released even before you were able to understand the one you just got. That is stressful in itself. Imagine what will be out there in ten years, twenty or fifty.

It is super important to search for ways to calm down and when you do so, you will be at more peace and have more happiness. I believe that your personal well being is far more important than anything else in life. Take care of yourself and have faith the rest will work itself out. It always does. It’s interesting, the things that bring us the most stress today are what you will be laughing at in the future.

We will discuss this more on this topic at our Best of the Best event on March 31st where you will hear how highly successful people have the ability to remain calm even under high pressure. Please be sure to reserve your spot because it is filling up fast.

All the best and earn your Black Belt in Business!


Chris Berlow


  1. Thank You Master Berlow! Your words and nurturing energy are meditation in themselves. Well done Sir, Well Done!

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